Lessons

 

During this time of uncertainty I set myself multiple goals which included exercising, listening to an educational Podcast during the day, reading more, and spending quality time with my Family

From listening and reading, this year for me has been a chance to self-reflect, learn and continue my life education.

The information I have provided below has come from the Books and Articles I have read, Experience and Podcasts that I have listened too.

Some of the books I recommend:  Never split the difference, 12 Rules of for life (‘heavy’ reading), No, Priceless, The Talent Code, Barking up the Wrong Tree, Pre-suasion and The Culture Code.

Some of the Podcasts interviews I recommend: Chris Voss, Chris Lee, Robin Sharma, David Goggin’s, Alex Honnold, Andrew Huberman and Dr. Edith Eger.

·        Communication https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/you-said-blue-heard-red-ryan-joffe

To make a connection you need to show empathy, and to communicate, “you are safe and connected”

-         Take aggressiveness out of questions: e.g. “You can’t leave”, “What do you hope to achieve by going?”

-         Remain with a question until its answered 3 times, or the statement is repeated 3 times. This provides the other person 3 times to agree or disagree.

-         Paraphrasing + labelling = summary

·        Resolving Difficult Conversation:

-         Keep calm, and slow the conversation down

-         Use active listening – open ended questions

-         Label Emotions

·        Meetings | Negotiations:

What and how questions -

-         What are we trying to accomplish?

-         How is that worthwhile?

-         What’s the core issue here?

-         How does that effect things?

-         What’s the biggest challenge you face?

-         How does this fit into what the objective is?

Come to a solution everyone feels positive about. Leave a good impression.

·        Training: –

The best was to provide feedback: “I am giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.”

Training people (new staff etc.) make is personal. Get them talking about their ambitions, what they can bring to the group. Provide a shirt, sweater, hat etc. with the company’s name and their name embroider on it.

Team Exercise: “We are lost at sea. What special skills might they bring to the situation.”

·        Children: - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/when-you-ready-unselfish-can-think-being-parent-ryan-joffe/

Praise your kids for their efforts not intelligence. If only praise intelligence, they will

be afraid to take risks and make mistakes. This can also be for adults.

Pay attention to what your children are fascinated by, and praise them for their efforts

·        Dealing with Stress and Anxiety:

Could it be worse?

Why am I angry? Is it really important?

What can I learn from it?

Always be future oriented. With time and Distance, it will not feel as important. Don’t be obsessed with the past. Don’t be weighed down by the past. Have hindsight now.

When bad things happen, don’t let it consume you. Don’t let bitterness or hatred bring you down.

·        Optimistic People Tell Themselves Bad Events: -

-         Are temporary (happen occasionally but it’s not a big deal)

-         Have a specific cause and aren’t universal. (when the weather is better that won’t be a problem), and

-         Are not their fault (I’m good at this, but today was not my day)

-         Celebrate small events

·        Gratitude: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/practice-gratitude-ryan-joffe/

You need to train yourself to focus on what you’re grateful for, instead of the negative things which may be going on around you.

Gratitude allows you to: (Robert Emmons)

-         Celebrate the present

-         Block toxic emotions (envy, resentment, regret, depression)

-         Be more stress-resilient, and

-         Strengthen social ties and self-worth.

·        Kaizen - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/kaizen-continuous-incremental-improvement-adds-up-change-ryan-joffe/

Kaizen - continuous, incremental improvement adds up to substantial change over time.

By breaking intimidating tasks into little steps, you generally will feel little resistance to change

Program your brain – ask same question every day

Criteria – so small that there is no push back (does not create anxiety), easy to do, no conscious effort. 

e.g.

-         What activity will make me more joyful each week?

-         What small step today could save me money?

·        Character vs. Reputation –

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/character-vs-reputation-ryan-joffe

-         If money is lost – Nothing is Lost

-         If Health is Lost – Something is Lost

-         If Character is Lost – Everything is Lost

·        General:

-         Repetition is the key for learning

-         Ask, “How can I be useful to you?”

-         People respond more to loss than gain: Loss is greater than gain

-         People will correct you to make themselves seem smarter

-         No deal is better than a bad deal

-         If you are looking for your Team to collaborate and increase communication, make sure their desks are no more than 6 meters apart (Allen Curve)

-         Be Curious, Be Nicer and be Grateful.

Thanksgiving is around the corner, and it may be difficult for many to feel thankful, as it has been a year of endless challenges and heartache for many.

A chapter in my work life is about to close, and I am confident that will be writing a new story soon. I have always believed that ‘things’ happen for a reason; we just may not know why initially.  I am thankful that my Family and Friends are healthy, for the people I have thus far met and worked with, for the new career I will embark on, and for the challenges which I have faced and will face.

May your blessings be multiplied this year, and throughout your life. May we all get to enjoy future celebrations with our friends and family and fill our homes with laughter and love.

Convince Yourself it’s Possible, and Keep Moving Forward